A new chapter

Well, I'm in college now...and I can't believe how the time has flown. Lately I've been really starting to miss high school again, but I keep telling myself to move past it. I love college so far and I know I'll have a blast there once I find a group of friends. All I can think of is running though and how much I miss XC and Track. It's so hard to see some of my friends going onto other teams at college meanwhile I'm not only a commuter, but I also don't have a team. Going into freshman year of high school I realized how important being a part of a team was to me. It made me feel much more secure and connected. Sometimes I would wonder if it was really running that I loved or was it the team and atmosphere? I can't help but think I'm one of the most unaccomplished people ever. Like what the heck...the other day I went to the track with the intention of doing 12 400s at 90-95 pace. However, I only did 3. I walked away from the track feeling like the biggest quitter, and I hated myself for it. I also now have tendinitis in both hips so I tried to rest it for 1-2 weeks like I was told, but I barely made it four days without desperately needing to go for a run. Whether it was the team, atmosphere, coaches or just running that I loved, I know now that while I wasn't allowed to run, it made me appreciate it so much more. It's funny how life works. When a child is told they cannot have a cookie, it only makes them want one more. Or how every teen complains about going to school, but we all know that if we were told we were never allowed to go to school again, we would without a doubt miss it. I think it all comes down to the feeling of having control.

I was just listening to Pandora and "Your Song" by Elton John came on. This line stood out to me; "How wonderful life is when you're in the world", and I realized how true it is! Everyone needs someone to help make life the best it can be, whether it be a significant other, a parent, sister, friend, grandparent or anyone.

On a side note, my brother just came in my room and slapped me then I said "no other college student has a little brother coming in their room anymore cause they're all living there!" THEN I realized, I wouldn't have it any other way. I keep moping around that I'm commuting, but first of all, I don't even mind the train....and second of all, I know I'll come out of this year with much more experience and knowledge than I would if I were living on campus. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger<3

Try try try again

 I’m going to start out by saying that I can easily remember this one night in particular as if it just happened.  On this very night, I ran literally the worst race of my life (or I felt like I did anyway).  It was so horrible and as soon as I crossed the line I just broke down and cried like a baby because I felt like such a failure not getting the time my coach had expected of me.  The bus ride home was even worse when he told me my race was a disgrace and my other coach said it was pretty ugly.  I was miserable.  But once I got home, I told myself to move on and just do better next time.  And then I got inspired and wrote a note to try and motivate myself for next time:

            Okay, so to most people track is an insane sport where people run because they are crazy.  But to a runner, track is a lifestyle. It is a constant struggle to push yourself to achieve more than you ever thought you could handle. There are times when all you want to do is stop running and crumple to the ground to catch your breath...but you don't.  Your body will beg you to quit, but you refuse to listen.  And the reason you don't is because nobody wants to go out a quitter.  When you finish a race no matter the distance, and every amount of energy is spent, there is nothing greater than that feeling when you see your success in the look on your coach’s face.  Now, don't get me wrong, one isn't always going to find themselves in this position.  My coach has instilled in me that actually the only way to really appreciate your success is to learn from your failures.  There have been many times when I know during a race I just sucked or "punked out" but track is not always about getting a medal or beating all of your opponents.  Sometimes winning is being able to get back up and try again.  One cannot achieve anything without learning from their mistakes. 

            Really the best word I have to describe track is addicting.  There are certainly times when you will hate it and feel defeated, but for some reason you can never actually get away from the sport because you love the feeling of success. And that feeling outweighs any other, so you keep trying until you are content.  But you are never content.  After a personal best, you cannot help but already have bigger goals for your next race.  The biggest motivation to do well is to ALWAYS believe in yourself..because if you don’t then who will?  Tonight I was reminded of something.  Being upset after a race is not going to get you anywhere. It will only make you more miserable. What every runner needs to do, no matter how they ran, is to forget the past and keep moving forward. 

            It's indescribable, the different moods at track meets.  Some runners are ready to break state records while other runners are just focusing on finishing their race.  While one person may have done very poorly in their race, someone else just a few feet away has a smile from ear to ear and the satisfaction of a medal hanging around their neck.  So who will you choose to be? The runner upset with themselves filled with regret? Or the runner who gets out there and runs for themselves, and finishes proud with a pat on the back from their coach.  This does not only apply to running, but in all areas of life.  You deserve to be successful. You owe it to yourself.  So the choice is yours.  Maybe you won't have a medal, but track is not about a shiny medal, winning, or even your other competitors. Every race is a race against you.  When you stand on the line, you know what lies ahead of you. You know the feel of every second from the BANG of the gun to crossing the finish line..but what you have to tell yourself when you stand there with the other runners?..this IS my race and NOTHING can stop me. No one can control how fast you go or how many people you pass, BUT you. 

            

Life's too short to let it pass you by

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

I'd have to say this has been one of my favorite quotes for some time now. It's a nice little reminder that we should live each day to the fullest. I feel like this quote definitely applies to my life.. especially to my senior year of high school. On one night in particular that comes to mind, my friends and I had planned to go to the football game that night, but due to the rain we were close to deciding against it. However, after some convincing, we agreed we would go and try to make the most of it. Not only did we "make the most of it" but we marked it as one of the best nights of our lives. It's the nights we're so close to just staying in that end up being the most memorable.

The mornings that turn into evenings

My grandparents need a lot of help these days and for a little while I'll admit that when my mom would ask me to come over with her to help out, I'd be somewhat hesitant. It wasn't until the past few weeks when I realized how special it is to have this time alone with my loving grandparents. Growing up in a big family (my mom being one of nine, and me being one of 31 grandchildren) I was never really close with my grandparents, and I began to envy other people my age who were so close to theirs. However, it's the quiet Friday afternoons sitting around at the dining room table with my Granddad's favorite music playing and my Grandmom humming along that I've come to truly appreciate most. Having this time alone with them is something I will always cherish. Sometimes all we really need is a quiet day at Grandmom and Granddad's to remind us of our blessings :)

Four years at a glance

Hmm..looking back on the past four years of high school, I feel like the majority of what I learned, I learned from sports. My coaches have instilled in me to never give up and to always go out and chase down my dreams.  They taught me that nothing was impossible if there was enough desire present. At one track meet after a bad race, I was feeling pretty down on myself but one of my coaches told me to "just keep my head up, and to focus on the positives". For some reason those words stuck with me and actually made me feel better. I think that is more valuable information than you'll find during math class.

Why Not? :)

Well, I've never had a blog before, but I thought now would be a great time make one with starting college soon and all.  Basically I've been feeling pretty philosophical lately, so I decided.. I'll make a blog! I guess I'll begin with the fact that when a few of my friends and I go running at night, we usually put our phones in flower pots/bushes so we don't have to hold them on our run. Well, let's just say we learned our lesson when we got back to find the flowers watered and our phones saturated.. oops :/ So while I was busy feeling angry and sorry for myself for not having a phone, my mom handed me a book to read called Tuesdays with Morrie, which did not take long for me to get into. In the book the main character, Morrie, battles a terminal illness BUT he refuses to let it ruin his mood and the little time of life he has left.  Instead he chooses to appreciate and take notice of all the happy things in his life. I feel like sometimes we get so caught up in life's busyness that we forget to be thankful for what we do have!
One of my favorite songs-- "Thankful" by Josh Groban
"Some days we forget to look around us. Some days we can't see the joy that surrounds us. So caught up inside ourselves; we take when we should give."--these lines especially reminded me of the character Morrie's outlook on life.

^Here's the whole song :)  love it<3