Well, I'm in college now...and I can't believe how the time has flown. Lately I've been really starting to miss high school again, but I keep telling myself to move past it. I love college so far and I know I'll have a blast there once I find a group of friends. All I can think of is running though and how much I miss XC and Track. It's so hard to see some of my friends going onto other teams at college meanwhile I'm not only a commuter, but I also don't have a team. Going into freshman year of high school I realized how important being a part of a team was to me. It made me feel much more secure and connected. Sometimes I would wonder if it was really running that I loved or was it the team and atmosphere? I can't help but think I'm one of the most unaccomplished people ever. Like what the heck...the other day I went to the track with the intention of doing 12 400s at 90-95 pace. However, I only did 3. I walked away from the track feeling like the biggest quitter, and I hated myself for it. I also now have tendinitis in both hips so I tried to rest it for 1-2 weeks like I was told, but I barely made it four days without desperately needing to go for a run. Whether it was the team, atmosphere, coaches or just running that I loved, I know now that while I wasn't allowed to run, it made me appreciate it so much more. It's funny how life works. When a child is told they cannot have a cookie, it only makes them want one more. Or how every teen complains about going to school, but we all know that if we were told we were never allowed to go to school again, we would without a doubt miss it. I think it all comes down to the feeling of having control.
I was just listening to Pandora and "Your Song" by Elton John came on. This line stood out to me; "How wonderful life is when you're in the world", and I realized how true it is! Everyone needs someone to help make life the best it can be, whether it be a significant other, a parent, sister, friend, grandparent or anyone.
On a side note, my brother just came in my room and slapped me then I said "no other college student has a little brother coming in their room anymore cause they're all living there!" THEN I realized, I wouldn't have it any other way. I keep moping around that I'm commuting, but first of all, I don't even mind the train....and second of all, I know I'll come out of this year with much more experience and knowledge than I would if I were living on campus. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger<3
